🌷Women Can Be So Mean Toward Other Women & The Reasons Behind The Jabs

For many women, it’s one of life’s crazy but true realities — being treated unkindly by another woman. Whether it happens at work, in friendships, or even within family circles, the sting is real. You may even find yourself wondering, What did I do wrong? 

But here’s the truth: the problem typically lies with the person acting mean — not with you. Read that again… 

I’ve had many female clients come in because they want to be able to move through the difficulties of being ostracized, teased, or whatever may be going on because of other women. 

This behavior often comes from deep emotional struggles such as insecurity, jealousy, or unresolved personal pain. Understanding the why doesn’t excuse the behavior, but it can help you protect your peace, deflect their lower vibrational attack, and respond with wisdom instead of reaction.

💔 Why It Happens 

Insecurity and Jealousy
One of the most common roots of mean behavior is insecurity. When someone feels inadequate, they may lash out at those who seem confident, successful, kind, or attractive. Jealousy becomes a coping mechanism — an attempt to balance their inner discomfort by diminishing someone else’s light. 

Projection
A woman burdened by her own fears or self-doubt may unconsciously project those feelings onto others. By being unkind, she avoids facing her own pain. Remember — it’s rarely about you; it’s about what she’s battling within herself. 

Competition
Many women are conditioned to compete — for attention, admiration, or validation. Whether it’s about appearance, achievements, stuff, or relationships, this dynamic often begins in adolescence and follows into adulthood. It’s not true power — it’s misplaced comparison. 

Relational Aggression
Research calls this form of behavior relational aggression — a subtle form of bullying that includes gossip, exclusion, or underhanded criticism. It often stems from environments where emotional maturity was never modeled. Unfortunately, without awareness and healing, these behaviors continue to repeat. 

Lack of Self-Awareness
Some people may not realize how hurtful their words are — though in truth, many do. “I didn’t mean it that way” often masks a jab meant to wound. 

Unresolved Trauma or Stress
When someone is overwhelmed by personal pain or past trauma, they may deflect that inner instability outward. Their emotional attack becomes a weapon, aimed at those nearby.

🌿 What You Can Do 

1. Don’t Take It Personally
   Their actions say far more about them than they ever will about you. Protect your self-esteem by viewing their behavior with calm detachment rather than self-blame.

2. Set Boundaries
   You have every right to protect your peace. Limit interactions or keep conversations brief if necessary. Energy is sacred — guard it wisely.

3. Address It Directly (If Safe)
   If the relationship is important and you feel comfortable, speak up calmly about how their behavior affects you. However, avoid direct confrontation with narcissistic or manipulative personalities — these require careful handling and professional support.

4. Focus on Healthy Relationships
   Not every woman will embody the “sisterhood” ideal — and that’s okay. Surround yourself with those who encourage your growth, celebrate your wins, and walk beside you with kindness. They are out there.

5. Walk Away When Needed
   Sometimes, the most powerful response is no response at all. Choosing silence and distance protects your peace and restores your personal power.

🌸 Closing Thoughts 

I’ve had the misfortune — and ultimately, the blessing — of learning these lessons firsthand. There were moments I wished for a mentor to help me navigate the sting of another woman’s cruelty.  I’ve also contributed to another’s pain. But through those experiences, I discovered something more valuable: Growing up emotionally is a gift while deflecting or walking away from situations that disempower you is wisdom. Wisdom creates a calm confidence and you no longer feel the jab as deeply if at all. You stand in your energy, your confidence, your peace. 

When you choose peace over drama, and dignity over reaction, you rise above the drama. You reclaim your energy. And in that state, you are calm and in control. 

And for the women that are Mean Girls reading this article that won’t grow after this article: 

Stop looking like stupid ugly teenage girls that think they know it all when you are literally clueless and at an age that you should know better. You make the female gender look ridiculous. Sound like you? Let’s hope not.

✨ About Integrative Hypnosis LLC 

Sharyn Marie is  Founder of  Integrative Hypnosis LLC, where she helps clients transform stress, heal emotional wounds, and reconnect with their highest potential. Sharon blends hypnosis, cognitive behavioral therapy, and holistic insight to guide clients toward inner peace and empowered living.